Almost One Year Since My ACL Injury

It’s been awhile since I posted so I guess it’s time to catch up. I’m at about the 7 months post-surgery point and 11 months post-injury point so my life has been affected by my ACL injury and rehab for almost a year – that’s a long time. I still have pain and discomfort doing certain activities like going down steps, trying to kneel, etc. I saw the surgeon last week and he basically gave me the go ahead to do just about anything – running, yoga and yes skiing – which I won’t be doing. However, everything in moderation and if I experience pain and swelling, which I have been, I need to ease back down the next day as well as ice and take Advil or something similar. So things still aren’t back to normal and I’m not sure they ever will be.

Excitement is in the Air of What Will Come

I voted last week via absentee voting as I will be flying to Orlando on Election Day - which is a drag because I want to be sitting at Busboys and Poets in DC watching Jon Stewart and the election returns. Voting took about 1 1/2 hours and election workers said that is how it was all week. Someone asked the best time to come back to vote and the election worker said at 8:30 am as there usually is only around 10 people in line when the office first opens.

I pass the building where one votes in DC on my way to work. On Friday, at 8:30 am, the line was so long it continued out on the sidewalk and then some. I saw on the news last night that people in Georgia waited 10 hours to vote early. The media has been reporting long lines across the nation. Has this ever happened in any other election? Have Americans ever been so excited by an election? Will we finally see an 80% turnout (in 2004 it was 61 percent — which was the highest level since 1968)? I could only imagine what the lines are going to be like on Election Day. Be prepared to wait!

Creating more excitement was Obama's "infomercial" on Wednesday evening. Although I wasn't too keen on the idea that something like this should be aired, I watched it anyway. I must admit, I did get excited. Obama is a very dynamic speaker as witnessed by the massive audiences he draws. I do not believe either candidate will be able to quickly end our economic crisis or alleviate all the problems they will inherit. But what Obama is able to do is to create hope and optimism so that perhaps we, as Americans, can get excited about our future and continue to get through these tough times. He is charismatic and can lift our spirits. He is supported in the international community and because of this, if Obama becomes President, the United States may once again be a country looked up to with admiration and respect, instead of despised.

Another thing to look at is how are we going to remember this President after he leaves office? When one remembers past Presidents, what do we remember most of all about them? There's our first President, Washington, as the "Father of our Country" and Lincoln as "Honest Abe". Moving ahead to today, George W. is the "War President" getting us into a war we should not be in and costing the country $595 billion (as of 1/11/08) and over 4,000 lives of our fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters and neighbors. George H. Bush doesn't fair much better being referred to as "The Wimp President". Unfortunately, for Clinton, he may best remembered as "Clitton" because of his stint with an intern; and before that "Slick Willie". Ford, well, you remember the SNL skits and then there's good old "Tricky Dick". Skipping a few presidents, we get to Kennedy, the "King of Camelot" that inspired so many with his orations ("ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country). I was too young to form an opinion back then but I now think of him as a charismatic, exciting leader and wish we had that now - and I think we do. And that is how I think Obama will be remembered if he becomes our 44th President.

See what I mean and even more.

When Will This be Over?

By this, I actually mean two things: the election and my knee recovery. Both seemed to have gone on forever. Did you know over $1 billion has been raised and spent on the 2008 Presidential campaign (Disbursements -$1,394,012,631; see FEC website). Could not have that money have been spent more wisely on education, transportation, housing, etc. etc. One will finally be over on November 4; the other - my knee recovery - seems to have no end in sight.

As for the knee, I’m getting impatient and wondering when I will not feel or think about my leg and knee on a daily, if not hourly, basis and when I can get back to my normal activities. It’s now over 5 months since I had ACL surgery and, among many things, I still have stiffness when I sit and get up, have pain in the back of my leg when I sit, especially in a car; and most importantly, still cannot run, let alone even attempt yoga.

I did attempt running for 4 blocks and had pain from almost the first step but I assumed it was the “good” pain the doc talked about. I had grand plans to add 2 block every week but that never happened. Instead I stopped running because I believe I overdid it on my bike. I rode my mountain bike 3 days in a row in Pennsylvania as the fall foliage was in full swing and Mother Nature was cooperating – it was so nice. The first 2 days were fine but I had some pain on the 3rd day so I took it easy. However, after the ride, I walked down and back up a very steep hill and I think the knee just said enough is enough. I’m hoping to try running again the end of this week. So that’s the update on the knee.

As for the election, I voted last week, via absentee voting, since I will be flying to Florida on election day. It took almost 1 and ½ hours for something I thought I’d be in and out. So for all of you voting on November 4, prepare for lines. I’d rather be in DC and watching the returns as the environment will be very pro-Obama and the Democrats and I think it will be fun. But, I’ll be in Orlando. The only silver lining is I’ll get to see the ducks at the Peabody hotel.

If you don’t vote, you can’t complain!

Around 5 Months or So

It's been some time since I posted and it's now about 5 months post surgery. I am now doing most things I did pre-injury at the gym. I have ridden my mountain bike a couple of times and that was fine. However, running is still not easy. I started running about 4 blocks twice a week. My knee hurts and I will check with the doc to see if the hurt is the "good" pain or the "bad" pain. If it's the "good" pain, I will up the ante and add on a few more blocks each week. I still haven't even tried yoga as I still can't touch my foot to my rear. I try this each am along with several other stretches. So that's where I am 5 months post surgery.

Another One Bites the Dust

Well it appears another big name in the sports world has joined the growing list of folks who did big time damage to their ACL. If suspicions are confirmed, Tom Brady, the New England Patriot’s three-time Super Bowl-winning quarterback and reigning National Football League most valuable player, will be undergoing surgery for a torn ACL. Brady joins Tiger Woods along with what appears to be a weekly addition to this ever growing list – including myself (although I am not known in the sports world, only my world).

Before I tore my ACL and had surgery, I never noticed, let alone read, about ACL injuries. I did not even know what an ACL was before my injury. Now it seems all I see is ACL injury reports. Another report I read was about a Penn State player who tore his ACL last Saturday; last year he tore the ACL in the other knee. Talk about bad luck. I believe I now see at least one of these reports weekend, especially now with football season upon us.

It’s strange how one never pays attention to certain things until they affect him or her personally. I’m sure Lance Armstrong never really thought about cancer until the disease almost ended his life. Now it is his life! He founded Livestrong and the Lance Armstrong Foundation
and advocates to empower cancer survivors to live life on their own terms and to raise awareness and funds for the fight against cancer.

You also see this happening with other celebrities who fight for causes when their families or they fall victim to a disease or illness. However, because of this, those mere mortals, who are in similar situations benefit from this “celebrity exposure” as more light is shown on a particular disease and potential funding, research and medical advances/treatments could follow.

I am convinced that if big-time athletes who make big-time money and provide big-time entertainment would not be victims of ACL injuries, the advancement in ACL surgery that has taken place in the last 10 years would never have happened.

So thank you to all you athletes and celebrities for putting the spotlight on all the injuries and diseases you may have endured. The rest of us may have benefited.

P.S. I am now 16 weeks post surgery. I have ditched the exercise bike at the gym and am using the treadmill and elliptical. I still experience pain in the back of my leg when I sit (especially in the car) and stiffness/tiredness after the rehab exercises and walking. I go to Dr. K for another follow up on September 24. I am hoping I get the go ahead to start running.

It’s Not Even Close to Over

Now that I’m finally walking almost normally and have been given the okay to go to the gym and start using some of the equipment, the real work begins. Enough of those elementary heel slides, leg raises, quad contractions, etc. Now I get to move on to squats, lunges, leg extensions, hip curls, leg presses and more. My knee needs to be better than it was before the injury to prevent injury to the other knee and to prevent arthritis and degeneration down the road.

Before the injury, I exercised almost every day averaging between 30 minutes to 1 hour. After the injury, I did the rehab every day and after surgery I did exercises 3 times a day. The problem is while these rehab exercises have been and will be difficult and tedious; they do not contribute to any type of weight loss regime. So, in addition to doing the rehab exercises, I’ll also need to do some type of aerobic exercise to maintain my weight – not to mention the few pounds I’ve added during rehab. Up until now, that has been months and months on the stationery bike after my rehab exercises. Slowly, I will move to the elliptical, treadmill and finally running and biking. But in the good old days, I would alternate between running/yoga/bike days with gym days. Now I will need to add the more time consuming rehab exercises to my running/yoga/bike days.

This bit of news, combined with the news that as women age, they need to exercise more and bump up their exercise routine (NBC 4 Report), I am wondering whether I want to devote all that time to this and whether I will have any time or energy to do other things (like going out to dinner or a cultural/art event, meeting up with friends and so on) after I undertake my rehab/maintaining weight daily regimen. I need a bag of chips and chocolate.

Good News from the Doc

My 3-month post surgery follow up was today and Dr. K. gave me some encouraging news. He said the knee looks good and that I can stop going to PT in September and start using the equipment at the gym as well as the elliptical/stair master and treadmill. I’ll still need to do rehab daily but I can finally start to bid farewell to the stationary bike that greets me each day when I walk in the door as it sits in my hallway as there is no other place to put it. Soon, it will be on the curbside awaiting its new owner or bulk trash.

I’ll start to go back to the gym next week and start off on the stairmaster and maybe a little on the treadmill. I’ll then do some leg extensions, use the leg press and the other piece of equipment where you lie on your stomach, put the weights on top of your calves and lift. And, I’ll finally get back to working my upper body other than using “heavy hands” at home. The last time I did all of this was May 22 – right before surgery.


He also said I can take my mountain bike for a spin when I go to PA next month. That ride is going to feel so good. And…he said he’ll probably (I want to run on the beach September 26 when I go) give me to go ahead next time he sees me (9/24) to do just about anything – including skiing. I said no to that activity and he said you got to still live your life. He mentioned something about an 8% chance of tearing the ACL in the left knee. That percentage is not worth the risk to me. I just don’t ever want to go through this again.

Free Obama Buttons

MoveOn is giving away free Obama buttons. Just go to:
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Hooray for Hollywood - Well Actually California

California, which is way ahead of other states on social and environmental movements, will have a referendum this November on animal rights in California. Proposition 2 would ban factory farms from raising chickens, calves or hogs in small pens or cages. Finally! While I do not think people should give up eating meat (they never will), the way animals are raised and slaughtered for consumption is atrocious and extremely inhumane. Witness the recent investigations by the Humane Society of the United States and others that have documented that "downed" cattle, those too sick or disabled to stand or walk, are routinely beaten, dragged with chains, shocked with electric prods, and pushed by forklifts in efforts to move them at slaughter facilities. California is taking a step to make the “food from the farm to the table” process more humane.

In his column in the New York Times, Nicholas Kristof says this is a major gain for the animal rights movement and is part of a broader trend, which is about time and I more than welcome. While he does eat meat, as do I (but not the pig and I try to buy only free range chicken and beef), like me, he draws the line at animals being raised in cruel conditions. He goes on to say “The law punishes teenage boys who tie up and abuse a stray cat. So why allow industrialists to run factory farms that keep pigs almost all their lives in tiny pens that are barely bigger than they are?...penning pigs or veal calves so tightly that they cannot turn around seems to cross that line.” He has expressed my sentiments exactly in his Op-Ed column which you can read at http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/31/opinion/31kristof.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin.

I Think Things are Finally Happening

Well the doc said expect nothing from around 4-8 weeks; for me it was more like 4-9 weeks. With 9 weeks post-surgery just beginning, I actually, finally can feel my knee bend a little when I walk. The horrible stiff peg-leg sensation is no longer and has been replaced with a bend – an ever so slight bend, but a bend – along with pain. The pain in not a sharp pain but rather it feels like something is in the way and there is some type of resistance. When I try to bend my knee, I feel I am trying to “break through” whatever is there and attempting to do that causes the pain. My PT said the pain is from not being able to relax my quad and other muscles and thus something needs to “give” if the muscles don’t relax and that’s why I experience the pain. So my challenge is not so much physical as it is neurological and to get my mind to signal my muscles to relax. It’s harder than you think; tightening muscles are much easier – at least for me. So if anyone has tips on how I can relax those muscles, let me know. Visualization, hynotics, and so on. I'm getting sleepy.

Good Monkey Business in Spain

Spain’s parliament approved a measure to extend some human rights to gorillas, chimpanzees, bonobos, and orangutans, becoming the first country to explicitly acknowledge the legal rights of nonhumans. The parliament’s environmental committee approved a resolution that commits the country to the Declaration on Great Apes, which states that nonhuman apes are entitled to the rights of life, liberty, and protection from torture. “This is a historic moment in the struggle for animal rights,” Pedro Pozas, the Spanish director of the Great Apes Project, told The Times. “It will doubtless be remembered as a key moment in the defence of our evolutionary comrades.” Once this measure becomes law in about a year, it will forbid keeping apes for circuses, television commercials or filming. Zoos that currently have apes can keep them but they must improve the conditions to comply with the new law.

Now all they need to do is ban bull fighting and extend these rights to bulls. Mr. Pozas said that the vote would set a precedent, establishing legal rights for animals that could be extended to other species. “We are seeking to break the species barrier — we are just the point of the spear,” he said.

Hopefully this action will indeed set a worldwide precedent and we can follow the wise words of Albert Einstein, “Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

Did I Need Surgery or Something Else?

Just got back from another PT session and am even more frustrated than usual. From the PT’s standpoint, it appears the reason for my inability to walk properly is my lack of coordination skills (I’ll never be on “So You Think You Can Dance”) and inability to relax my muscles – my brain wants to control all of my movements instead of letting gravity take its course (if I had my PT sessions at the beach I think then and only then I could relax).

Yes, there also could be something physically wrong (i.e. scar tissue build up or God only knows what) which would probably need to be corrected again surgically – a fear that I had even before the ACL surgery. But there is definitely a problem on my end and I now wonder if surgery was ever needed in the first place as the problem wasn’t in need of surgical correction but of mental and physical training.

I just don’t think, at this point, surgery accomplished anything. I am worse off now than after my injury. I can’t bend my knee, I can’t extend my knee, I can’t walk correctly and my knee is still swollen. Tomorrow will be 9 weeks post surgery. To me, I am now going through the worst time of this whole ordeal including the injury itself (January 20), PT/rehab after the injury (4 months), and surgery (May 24). I’m at my breaking point and don’t want to do the rehab anymore. I’m sick and tired of it – all 6 months of it. Where is the progress?

I hope this is just one those bad days and that I can get back on track and move forward. Once again I’ll anxiously wait for my next follow up with Dr. K. (August 15) and see what he says. I really, really need to hear from him all is fine and these things take time and it’s just taking a bit of more time for me. Just hang in there.

8 Weeks, 24 Minutes & 124 Degrees

It is now 2 months post surgery. My doc told me during my follow up visit that not much happens during weeks 4-8 so here I am just past 8 weeks and I am expecting some things to start happening. I am tired of limping, not be able to come down steps normally, doing the exercises 3 days a day, going to PT 2 times a week, having this knee be the center of my life, and so on. I want to see improvement! I want to walk to the metro and then to run and ride a bike.

Improvement has come but very slowly to date. I can now ride up to 24 minutes on the exercise bike (no resistance yet). My knee will get sore and if I walked a lot (i.e. 4-5 blocks) that day, I’ll cut back to 15 minutes. After riding my exercise bike for almost 6 months, I never want to see this bike when I can finally run and bike. Watch Craigs List for a stationary bike come October. My last ROM measurement was 124 degrees of flexion (140 is normal and what I’m aiming for) so I do have a bit to go yet. The extension is still, as expected, giving me problems and I really need to work on this. And, my knee is still swollen so I ice it 2-3 times a day and take Advil daily.

If all goes well, I hope to be running and riding my bike in the Fall amongst the newly fallen autumn leaves.

An ACL Injury is Nothing to Complain About

Since my ACL injury and surgery, I seem to take more notice to people on the street who use canes, crutches, wheelchairs, etc. as well as zero in on stories of those who have had heart-wrenching sports-related accidents. These athletes have seen their lives change from being one where the things they did drew crowds of fans and admirers to one where wiggling a toe or lifting a hand is a great feat. As I continue my PT and rehab and wait months and months to get back to normal activities, they may have to will wait years and years, and maybe not ever, to gain back what they once had. When I read these stories, I am in awe of and have respect for them as they continue onwards after such horrific accidents and persevere with a determination that is truly amazing.

One such person is Stephen Murray, a top professional bicycle motocross rider, who was paralyzed in a crash during the opening event of the AST Dew Tour's 2007 season. It is considered the worst accident ever in BMX, a crash so severe that many witnesses still decline to talk about it. During his last run, Murray landed on his head and hyperextended his neck upon impact. He had crushed the C3, C4 and C5 vertebrae in his neck. Doctors inserted 16 screws and three titanium plates to stabilize his spine during two seven-hour surgeries. Murray, one year since the accident, can now move muscles in his arms and his legs and he will see usable improvement in muscle function that will change his quality of life. Murray does not dwell on what happened or express any bitterness. The accident, he says, is his reality. No use in trying to escape it. Read the full story in The Washington Post.

More or Less the Same

I had my 5 week + post surgery follow up today. Nothing out of the ordinary to report. My knee is a bit more swollen than it should be so more Advil and icing will be needed -- and no overdoing it. Until the swelling goes down, the quad really won’t start to do its thing. Dr. K. said I probably won’t notice too much improvement during the 4-8 week stage. After that is when I will start to really work to strengthen the quad to get that full extension which has eluded me since the injury in late January. Dr. K is confident it will come so I’ll believe him! So, until then, more limping.

However, once again I think I’m walking a little better. I’m going upstairs very slowly but almost normally. Going downstairs is still one step at a time – downstairs is always more difficult. I’m hoping to ditch the 2 buses I take to work next week and take the Metro. It’s a 3 block walk from the Metro to work, which I walked today, but a 5 block walk – uphill – from the Metro to my house, which is still a bit out of my range.

I also hope to start going back to the gym next week now that I can drive. I’m doing “heavy hands” at home but it’s been over 5 weeks since I worked on the upper body equipment. I’m up to 15 minutes on the bike and hope to increase that to 20 minutes, then up to 24 minutes which was my normal time. This is all fine but I still can’t wait for the big day when I can run and bike outdoors. I can only guess that will be in October. Tiger said it best yesterday: “As far as long-term, I really don't know. Everyone heals at a different rate. Some people are back playing sports in six months, some are nine, some are twelve. No one really knows until we start the rehab process and see how this thing heals."

Help Stop Animal Abuse: Pigeon Shoots

As you may be able to tell, I am against animal abuse and as well as using animals for entertainment and sports. Every once and awhile I really get ticked off and just shake my head in awe and get sick to my stomach at the things people do to animals. Pigeon shoots, which are events where shooters aim at dazed pigeons launched randomly from boxes with the goal of downing the birds within a ring for prizes, is one example of a “sporting event” that is allowed in Pennsylvania which is not only inhumane but makes the state look like some type of third-world nation.

However, legislation has been introduced that will stop these pigeon shoots. It will also end barbaric events like the recent turkey shoot where live turkeys had their feet tied to bales of hay and were shot with arrows.

If you live in Pennsylvania, please contact your representative via the U.S. Humane Society’s advocacy feature and have them support this legislation.

Not Much to Report

For those following my progress after ACL surgey, I just thought I'd touch base. However, there's not much to report. I believe my walking may be getting a little better or else I may just be getting use to walking with a limp. Nothing exciting or different happening at PT or with my rehab exercises. I assume they will give me more to do in the near future. I've already started doing two sets for some exercises.

One strange thing is happening. When I do certain exercises (i.e. heel slides) or ride the bike (I can now do revolutions but not very consistently or smoothly), I hit a "dread-end". It feels like something is in the way and if my knee slips or moves after I hit this point, I want to jump through the wall. It's a very distinct but strange pain and I HATE it. I don't know what it is except maybe scar tissue. I heard if you can't get rid of the scar tissue, it's back to the cutting board. My PT doesn't seem to concerned about it but I'll ask my surgeon about it when I go for my follow-up on July 1. I want to be walking better by then so he gives me a nod of approval. I feel like I need to please him; like this has now taken on a teacher/student relationship.

Behind the Wheel Once More

I got the okay to drive and took a spin the the grocery store. It feels so good to be able to be independent once again after one month. I did drive more slowly than I usually do as my reaction time still isn't up to par. The leg didn't like being in the position it was in for too long. Driving around town doing errands is one thing but I plan to drive to Pennsylvania July 3 and I know my knee will squawk as the trip is 4-4 1/2 hours.

So, this time one month ago, I was lying in bed just getting back from surgery. I definitely see an improvement since then. However, you just don't see much happening from day to day and that gets frustrating. The PT is trying to explain to me how to walk and I am just not getting it. You basically lead with your heel and then go up on your toes and bend your knee, then straighten it. However, I just can't get it. Hopefully it will come to me as walking the way I now do is really bugging me and my foot hurts as I'm not doing what I should be doing.

My knee is still swollen but that's how it was after I injured it. I think it took at least 2 months + for all the swelling to go away so I don't expect anything less after surgery. It's also starting to itch. Now, I remember as a kid my mom would say that meant it's getting better. I'll just put my faith in the folklore and believe it is getting better.

Tiger’s Like Me!

I now share something with Tiger Woods: a torn ACL. Tiger ruptured his ACL while running last summer. He had been hoping to "play through the pain" this year and opted to wait and have the ACL surgery done after the '08 season so he could continue to do what he does best – win golf championships. In lieu of the full blown ACL surgery (ACL replacement), he had arthroscopic knee surgery on April 15 to repair cartilage damage. However, that was not enough and his knee finally said enough is enough (witness how he winced in pain during swings and limped away from his astonishing win at the U.S. Open ). So, now the world of golf will be less exciting for awhile, while Tiger undergoes ACL surgery and an extensive post surgery rehab program.

There are many athletes that tear or rupture their ACLs and most want to get back into the action instead of ending their careers. A lot of money is riding on this. I think for this reason, ACL surgery techniques and post surgery recovery procedures have made great improvements in the past 10 years or so paving the way for mere mortals like me to benefit from these advancements. Thank you to all these athletes for helping to make my surgery a relatively minor medical procedure. However, the rehab is a different story and not too much can help with having to do the rehab exercises at home 3-5 days a time.

Good luck Tiger. If you need any feedback on the surgery or rehab, let me know. I learned a lot in the past several months and am still looking to others to help me get through the rehab.

Post-Surgery Survival Kit

I came across this photo from someone else's blog who also had ACL surgery. I thought it was funny so I thought I'd post it. Visit the blog.

Getting a little serious, being prepared for the days after surgery does help. I bought a mini-fridge and put it in my bedroom for easy access to ice, water, etc. since my kitchen is downstairs and going up and down stairs is a drag. I also had plenty of books, magazines, videos, etc. as well as my laptop and cell phone on hand to keep myself busy. I got my "laying in bed clothes", a towel (for under the ankle) and pillows ready and accessible.

I cleaned the house the day before surgery and did a run at the grocery store to stock up for awhile as I would not be driving for about a month. I paid my upcoming bills so I wouldn't have to deal with that. I had my post-surgery meds called in beforehand and picked them up before surgery. I arranged for the neighbors to set my garbage cans out and move my car for street cleanings. I had an extra key made and kept it under my welcome mat so friends visiting could let themselves in the house.

So, if you are going to have surgery, make sure you make a list of things to do so that you are prepared.

"You say you want a revolution"

Well, I want a revolution - on the bike. I went to the PT on Friday and she had me get on the stationery bike. Tried as I could, I just could not do a full revolution. She said that was fine. So, for about 10 minutes I pedaled one way as far as I could and held the stretch and then went backwards and did the same. When the full revolution does come, I will celebrate. Then it will be gradually adding resistance and increase my time on the bike. I hope that comes soon as I haven't done any type of aerobic exercise in 3 weeks and I need to start back up again before I gain weight. I think I lost a few pounds right after surgery as I didn't have an appetite. My diet was soup and saltines for several days. But now, my eating is back to normal and I need to find a way to burn off those calories. The leg lifts just aren't doing it.l

Getting Here to There

Well, it's now 2 weeks (plus 3 days) post-surgery. I am back at work. I take 2 buses to get to work as I can't yet walk 5 blocks to the Metro - 3 blocks is all I can do and it takes very long to do that and wears me out. If you will be having surgery, plan that everything will take longer once you are out and about. You will walk slower and may need to take alternate transportation like I do. If you take the bus, like I do, you may be very protective of your knee and be a bit fearful that someone is going to bump into your knee as you can't bend it all the way to bring it closer to the seat - so it sticks out in the aisle a bit. Also, don't be surprised if no one gives you a seat. I was on the Metro this morning and no one offered a seat to me. I prayed I would be able to maintain my balance.

I just had my 3rd PT session. I was late because of trying to get down my new transportation connections so I was only worked on for 15 minutes. However, the PT did manage to inflict pain in those 15 minutes. She then set me up on the machine that stimulates your quad muscle. I actually looked forward to this and the accompanying "icing" that comes with this was a relief.

I spent last weekend by myself "trapped" in my house. I could not really walk anywhere and I am not able to drive yet. It was very, very hot and humid in DC so sitting outside was very uncomfortable and like taking a sauna. I had some movies to watch but my DVD decided to break so I was really, really bored. Finally, on Saturday evening, my neighbor offered me a ride to the grocery store. I felt like a dog getting a ride in the car and a chance to escape the house. Plus, I was finally able to buy some vegetables which I was craving. I had a great salad and grilled salmon for dinner.

So, I am looking forward to walking beyond a snail's pace and to driving my car so I can finally go out and do something. Maybe this weekend?

The Joy of Chores

It is two weeks post surgery and I decided to try some chores as I was growing very inpatient as I had nothing to do. Since driving is out for me for several more weeks, I could not really go anywhere. DC is having a heat wave (98 degrees and very high humidity) so sitting outside is not very comfortable. I was tired of tv and didn't feel like reading so all that was left was the chores.

I started by vacuuming upstairs and had no problem. However, I am now waiting for someone to take the vacuum downstairs as I am not able to lift something this heavy and negotiate the stairs at the same time. I then tackled the bathroom and cleaned the tub, sink and floor. It was very satisfying to do these and have a somewhat clean upstairs.

As for those stairs, I also attempted trying to walk up (but not down)the stairs normally. It was a bit awkward as I really needed to think about it in addition to concentrating on lifting my leg up - which was tough. I was able to do this for about 6 steps and then had to go back to one step at a time. Hopefully, I'm not pushing things with this simple exercise. Due to this experience, I have a profound admiration for people who suffer far worse incidents and are not able to walk and need to go through a much more vigorous physical therapy program. I can only imagine what their legs feeling like trying to get them to move. As I know a bit, their legs must feel like dead weight (basically like a log) and trying to get control of them is probably extremely frustrating. But, they just push on with incredible faith and determination despite the associated physical pain and emotional toll. One such person is Tara Llanes who had a horrific crash during a mountain bike race and following seven hours of surgery to the back and spinal cord, it was determined she had no feeling from the waist down. Read her story.

The Long Road Ahead - Part 2

I did my first sets of my rehab exercises at home - well, I tried to do my exercises at home. I felt like my leg was simply dead weight. I tried the standard task of putting a rolled up towel under my knee and then trying to tighten my quad. (If you are able to strengthen your quad, your heel will come up off the floor.) I could not at all get control of my quad and there was NO movement in my right heel - that heel was stuck to the floor. I had no way of tightening it. The left leg did its thing and I felt the quad tighten and saw it tightenting but I could not tighten my quad in the right leg. I just could not!

Another exercise is lying on my bed on my stomach and tieing something around my foot and using my hand to hold the other end and then pull my knee up so it bends. OUCH! I'm suppose to hold it for 30 seconds. You got to be kidding. After this one, I simply let my ankle drape over the side of my bed forcing the leg to extend. OUCH! I'm suppose to do this for 5 minutes.

Last but not least, are the heel slides. Sitting on the floor, you slide you heel as close to your buttocks as you can. I am only able to slide my heel in about 6 inches. I also do some leg lifts and am having no problems with them but I think I am doing the wrong: I am using another muscle instead of my quad.

So, needless to say, this is a bit discouraging. Yes, it only was my first day but nonetheless, it sucked. And, walking is still a drag as I need to go ever so slowly. I mean really slowly.

Well, today is a new day and I'm hoping things will progress and I will start to be able to regain control of my quad.

The Long Road Ahead

I just had my first physical therapy session today. Not the best news and am feeling a bit down. I basically have no quad, can't bend my knee and can't extend my knee. My ROM flexion is 78 degrees (I think normal is 110 degrees of flexion) and my ROM extension is -6 degrees (not sure what normal is). I need to greatly improve both of these. It will be a long, difficult task but as I said before Grin and Bear It.

I will go to the PTs twice a week and then need to do my exercises at home 3-5 times/day. How does one do that when you also work full time. I can get in 3 times: before work, after work and after dinner but I doubt I can get in more; maybe do some at lunch.

This is the frustration point and I need to see my ROM numbers improve to give me encouragement to keep moving ahead. So without further adieu, I on my way home to do my rehab exercises.

Grin & Bear It

In light of everything happening in the World (war, cyclones, tornadoes, famine, etc.),going through a knee surgery is nothing. It also pales in comparison to having a way more serious illness or health issue such as cancer or a brain tumor. Not to mention that I caused this to happen by skiing. Others simply have things happen to them with no fault of their own. So, I can hardly complain about my condition. But, when something interferes with your life so much, it does affect you and you do get frustrated, depressed and feel a little sorry for yourself. However, as they say Grin and Bear It as things do happen in life and you need to just keep on going. So it is with this philosophy that just keeps me going. Don't look back and say why - just keep moving forward.

Anyway, I had my stitches removed today. The PA had a problem with one stitch and just could not get it out so my surgeon needed to remove it. Although I am still hugging to my one crutch as my knee is unstable and swollen, the doctor gave me an A+, which was very good news to hear. I will now start the PT and hope I will progress. If all goes well, I may be able to stop supervised PT visits in about 4-6 weeks and only need do the exercises on my own. That would be really nice.

So, I am on my way to a nice stable knee. Running, yoga, biking - here I come. Skiing, I'm afraid not. I just do not want to ever go through this again.

Day 5 Post-Surgery

It’s 5 days post-surgery and it’s time for the fun to begin. I had an easy surgery and post-surgery. I’m down to one crutch but Dr. K. wants me to go crutchless today. It’s 11 am and I still haven’t done that yet. Maybe later this afternoon! I’m also hoping to sit outside on my porch after “work” (I’m telecommuting) as it is so nice out. DC is having a great Spring. I’m down to 1 percocet every 6 hours and sometimes can wait even longer. My knee, I guess as it should be, is still quite swollen, which prevents me from bending it and it also feels live a vice is on it.

My PT starts June 4 and I’m preparing for that by doing some movement exercises now and anticipating that with more movement will come pain. As they say, no pain, no gain. I’m willing to put up with the pain (to a point) as long as I can see/feel my knee improving. The hard part comes when you just don’t feel anything is happening. And, as I recall from post-injury and rehab, change isn’t very noticeable. You won’t notice anything day to day; more like week to week or month to month. But, again, that’s okay as long as I move forward and stay on schedule for improvement.

My next goal is to be able to take the bus to work June 9 week. Then I hope I will be able to walk 5 blocks to the Metro and take the Metro to work, which will be quicker and more efficient for me. And then, my final goal in Fall – to go for a run. It will be a beautiful, crisp day and I will run after work and feel great.

3-Days Post Surgery

Note: I’m not thinking very clearly (percocets) so please forgive any errors or things that don’t make sense.

My friend who was staying with me left this morning so I had to step things up to become self-sufficient. The surgeon told me to bear weight on my leg with the crutches. I had started doing that and this morning tried going with one crutch – and was able to. I feel very good about this and am getting encouraged that I am now on my way to a speedy recovery.

I think there are several reasons that I am progressing so well. The first is that I had an allograft (ligament from a cadaver) instead of an autograft (ligament from either my hamstring or tendon). While the allograft isn’t as strong as an autograph, it doesn’t require another incision (where they take out your own ligament) to your leg. So, I am only dealing with one impact instead of two. Also, I was strengthening my quad for almost 4 months before my surgery and I really think this has now helped me. I am now doing 3 exercises, 3 times a day (foot pumps, leg lifts and heel slides – which I’m not doing very well as bending my knee is difficult due to the swelling).

I am telecommuting as a lot of my job is web-based. I won’t put in a full day but at least will get done what needs to be done.

I go to my surgeon for a follow up on June 3 and hope to go directly to work after the appointment. I then start my PT on June 4 and continue that twice a week for who knows how long. I’ll also need to do PT exercises at home at least twice a day, including hopping on the exercise bike and trying to get the pedals to turn.

So, all is all, things are going well.

So Far So Good!

It’s Sunday, the day after my ACL surgery and things seem to be going as well as they can. Surgery went off with out a hitch. I actually walked into the operator room and hopped up on the operating table on my own. I remember a few nurses doing their thing and the anesthesiologist talking to me and the next thing I remember is someone calling my name trying to wake me up. It was over before I knew it. I had some pain at the back of my leg and after my requisite saltine was given a couple of Percocet’s which started to do their thing after about 20 minutes. Thankfully, I was not nauseous after surgery which was a great relief. My surgeon cleaned up some tissue on the front of my knee as well as some damage to the knee cartilage. He said there was no meniscus damage. Things seem to be going in the right direction.

My friends came and fetched me at the hospital. I had problems negotiating the steps on crutches. Walking was fine but I had to come up my steps on my rear as I just couldn’t seem to use the crutches (a mental block of sorts and I just couldn’t get up a step). I have a tolerable level of pain but the nerve block may still be doing its magic and I know the Percocet’s are helping as well. I was able to get to the bathroom on my crutches with no problem, which along with the possibility of feeling nauseous were my two biggest post-surgery concerns. I’ve been using the Polar Care (water/ice machine that circulates cold water around the knee) non-stop since I got home – even during sleep. I actually got several hours of sleep last night even though I was only able to sleep on my back because of the immobilizer brace. I did need to take the pain killers as needed. Actually I needed to take them a bit earlier than was scheduled.

I just spoke to my surgeon and he told me to take my brace off. Most people seem to keep their’s on for 10 days or longer. It felt good to get that thing off my leg. So, I’m not going to argue with my surgeon’s opinion on this. He also said to get off the crutches on Tuesday and bear weight as much as I can without pain – again most folks stay on them longer. It does hurt to move the knee especially lifting or bending it but that is to be expected. I just did a set of leg raises and a set of foot pumps and it wasn't really that bad. The pain killers are working.

Except for the need to replenish the ice in my Polar Care and carry anything (can’t do this and use my crutches), I’m able to do just about everything else. I actually made it downstairs today to feed my cats and make coffee and an english muffin for me. My friend then carried these outside for me and I sat on my deck as it was a beautiful day. I had problem sitting and didn’t want to overdue it so I went back upstairs and got into bed so my leg can be extended and/or elevated and back on the Polar Care.

Now, the boredom is setting in. I have some videos, books and magazines but I’m not all that interested in those. I am having problems with my phone jack and finally was able to fix it (at least for now) and once again I have a phone and DSL connection. So that’s surgery and day 1 post surgery. I’m waiting for the nerve block to wear off and for the pain level to pump up. Then the fun really begins – physical therapy.

It’s the Small Things in Life….

As soon as I got on the Metro this morning I realized I forgot my wallet and glasses. I took both of these items to the gym last night so I could do some last minute grocery shopping before my surgery. And, of course I forgot to transfer them from my gym bag to my work bag. Since it was “bagel day” at work, I skipped breakfast and was planning on getting a café au lait at my one of my favorite places in DC – Cup of Seattle. It’s a very tiny coffee shop and the people who work there are wonderfully welcoming and friendly. They also remember their customers. It’s a joy to walk into this place. I did have my check book so when I got there, I asked if I could write a check. Instead, I got a free cup of joe!

Anxious and Anticipating

Well, it’s two days until D-day – my ACL surgery. I have read more than enough on this subject including whether to have surgery, what type of surgery to have, how the surgery is done and what happens after surgery, which, to me, is the most difficult part. I have prepared for the big event and its aftermath by setting up my bedroom to be my new “home” for several days such as getting a mini-fridge, setting up my laptop, organizing an arsenal of reading materials, encouraging friends to visit me to starve off boredom, etc. I’m hoping I can venture down the stairs on Day 4. There is just something about crutches and stairs that scares me.

I was lucky enough to find a friend that is willing to stay will me for a few days as getting out of bed will be painful and difficult (so I hear). I will be dependent on her to get me to the bathroom, make my meals, bring in my mail/paper, feed my cats and so on. I will then be dependent on other friends to feed my outside colony of cats, take out my garbage, move my car for street cleaning, buy groceries for me, and give me rides to the PT, surgeon and work.

As of right now, I’m not too worried about the surgery itself – that may change on Saturday when I get to the hospital and it all sinks in. I have put my trust in my surgeon and am hoping for the best outcome with no complications. It’s the post-surgery I am concerned about and wondering if my knee will indeed get back to normal (success rate of ACL Surgery is 85%) so I can walk properly (and for more than 5 blocks), run, do yoga, kneel, and bike ride. I doubt I will ever ski again as I never, ever want to go through this again.

I know what I’m in for post-surgery: 4-6 months of physical therapy (2-3 sessions/week for the first couple of months; 1 time/week afterwards) and at home exercise (2-3 times a day of quad strengtheners, heel slides, etc. as well riding an exercise bike). I’ve been doing these exercises and the bike for 4 months now but after surgery it will be much more difficult as well as painful (I heard some exercises brings tears to your eyes). I now bike for 24 minutes; the weeks after surgery doing a simply revolution will be difficult and doing 5 minutes will be a reason for congratulations -- one of many goals to be reached on this long, tedious recovery process.

So, I now put the fate of my knee in the hands of my surgeon, my PT and me (to religiously adhere to the rehab and stay optimistic). Stay tuned…

Why are Animals Used for Entertainment & Profit

I purposely did not watch the Kentucky Derby this year because I do not believe an animal’s purpose is to entertain humans, and, in the case of horse racing, to make lots of money for them. I concur with a May 6 editorial in the New York Times on horse racing that, “the horses seem more like financial vehicles than animals with an existence of their own. The life of the money comes to seem just as important as the life of the horse.” So I was angered and saddened when I heard the news that one of the horses, Eight Belles, broke both of her front ankles and had to be euthanized. Questions are swirling as to whether the jockey lashed her to the finish line ignoring a telltale sign that she was injured; whether her trainer administered steroids to make her too large; or whether owner Rick Porter acted selfishly in entering the 3-year old filly in the Derby? (See Sally Jenkins Washington Post article.) This follows the another horse racing tragedy where another horse, Barbaro, was also euthanized eight months after he shattered his right hind leg at the start of the Preakness Stakes. It makes no sense that these animals had to suffer and die all to entertain and put lots of greenbacks in someone’s pocket. According to the the Welfare and Safety of the Racehorse Summit, there are 2 fatalities for every 1,000 starts on U.S. dirt tracks. Again quoting from the NYT editorial, “The first rule of racing must be the welfare of these horses. Nothing else is acceptable.”

Of course horse racing is unfortunately far from being the only activity where animals are used to entertain people and/or increase their bank accounts. Circuses force animals with the use of whips, sticks and bullhooks to perform unnatural acts such as jumping through fire hoops, standing on their heads, walking trunk-to-tail, skipping, crawling, twirling, hopping on their hind legs and rolling over in unison. While circus promoters claim their animals are well treated and that the animals like doing the tricks, this is far from the truth. For example, video footage taken between 2001 and 2006 of Ringling trainers and handlers shows that elephants were aggressively hooked, lame elephants were forced to perform and travel, and a trainer inflicted a bloody bullhook wound behind an elephant’s ear flap. According to David Hancocks, former director of the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle, “When [circuses] portray animals as freaks and curiosities, devoid of context or dignity, circuses are perpetuating outdated attitudes. Wild animals in the circus are reduced to mere caricatures of their kind, exhibited just for financial gain. In this way, they corrupt our children, promoting the notion that exploitation and degradation is acceptable, even brave or funny.”

Then we also have the sadistic and illegal (in most states) dog fighting and cock fighting where once again humans profit at the expense of animals. These animals often die of blood loss, shock, dehydration, exhaustion, or infection hours or even days after the fight. I can’t even fathom why someone would support something that is so horrific and inhumane.

I hope that one day mankind will accept and honor the words of Albert Einstein:

A human being is part of the whole called by us universe , a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty...We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive."

Cyclones, Hurricanes and Droughts - Oh My!

Is it my imagination or does there appear to be more weather catastrophes of late? Maybe I just never really paid attention to global weather and that all these cyclones, hurricanes, tsunamis, droughts, floods, etc. are as common as they every have been. But it is getting very scary when a cyclone (2008 Myanmar cyclone) leaves 22,000 dead and 41,000 missing and a tsunami (2004 South Asian Tsunami) leaves more than 225,000 people dead in eleven countries. Particularly haunting were the images from Hurricane Katrina since this was close to home so to speak, not in some far off third world country.


Last year, Great Britain was hit by the worst flooding in decades. A heat wave blanketed south-eastern Europe and killed hundreds of people, and out-of-control wildfires burned Greece. In the southwest U.S., California, Nevada, Colorado, and Utah were hit with sweltering heat. The central part of the U.S. - especially Texas, Oklahoma, and Kansas - was awash in water. And this year in the U.S. we have seen mass destruction from unprecedented numbers of tornadoes and flooding. What the hell is going on?

There is not a clear consensus on what is causing this and as a matter of fact there is much controversy. There have been many that have weighed in on this. For example, Stephen Tindale, executive director of Greenpeace UK said in the Independent newspaper in Britain, “No one can ignore the relentless increase in extreme weather events and so-called natural disasters, which in reality are no more natural than a plastic Christmas tree." Speaking to the same newspaper, Friends of the Earth Director Tony Juniper pressed the argument home: "Here again are yet more events in the real world that are consistent with climate change predictions."

The Environmental Defense Fund says that studies show that global warming will increase the frequency or intensity of many kinds of extreme weather. While we can't attribute a particular heat wave or hurricane to global warming, the trends are clear: Global warming loads the atmospheric dice to roll "heat wave" or "intense storm" more often.

Meanwhile, Daniel Sarewitz, a professor of science and society and director of the Consortium for Science, Policy and Outcomes at ASU and Roger Pielke Jr., of University of Colorado, Boulder, say that tying the tsunami and other natural disasters to human induced climatic change “is both scientifically and morally unsupportable.” Other geologists said that groups of giant earthquakes hit Sumatra every 230 years or so. The last quakes there were in 1797 and 1833 and the 2004 South Asian earthquake was thought by to be more or less on schedule.

While everyone debates this, these natural disasters go on and on and thousands and thousands of people die and lose their homes and livelihoods. All I know something is up and the weather is getting stranger and harsher and nothing is being done about it. I don’t need any scientific evidence to tell me summers are getting warmer and the seasons are blending into each other. I’m experiencing that first hand.

I encourage everyone to become involved in this issue. Can We Solve It? You decide. But do it now or it may be too late if you wait. Soylent Green here we come!

Clinging to Guns & Religion or in Need of a Scapegoat?

I am currently in the heartland of where small-town Americans supposedly cling to guns and religion telecommuting in the small town where I grew up and visit regularly. In a highly publicized and criticized statement, Barack Obama recently said “You go into these small towns in Pennsylvania and, like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. And it's not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy toward people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.”

Well, basically the economics in these small towns, especially those whose economies were dependent on manufacturing industries, i.e. Bethlehem Steel, are in dire straights. When the plants closed, Obama was correct: not much replaced them. This has led to many to become unemployed and lacking in the skills needed to compete in the “new economy” (i.e. technology workforce).Recent graduates, in hopes of better opportunities than their parents had, need to leave the area to find a job. Where are the job training programs? Where are resources for these small towns to plan and implement businesses and jobs that are driving today’s global economy so they can employ their workforce?

Do you think these people are not bitter? While they may not “cling” to guns and religion, they may feel resentment, especially to immigrants, whom they perceive as taking their jobs at lower wages or welfare recipients, who they perceive as sitting back and doing nothing except collecting money from the state while they work as hard as they can to support their families. These perceptions are based upon the frustrations referred to by Obama and they need to blame someone; they need a scapegoat.

While Obama may not have phrased what he meant to say well, he identified a problem that needs to be addressed. But can he be blamed. The candidates are getting up at 5 and 6 am and going to bed at 1 or 2 am. They are travelling non-stop and under a lot of stress and pressure. Mistakes are bound to be made when they are giving their zillionth speech day after day. Let’s give them a break and vote on the issues, not on their verbal mishaps and bouts of ill chosen words.

Sue: It's the American Way - Part II

I mentioned this unbelievable news item before (See: Sue: It's the American Way, posted February 29) but now that more details are coming forth, it absolutely sickens me and makes my head spin. Not only does it make me shudder to think what type of people exists in this world but it makes me question the logic of our legal system. For those of you not from DC, Banita Jacks, has been charged with murdering her four daughters whose decomposed bodies were in the home so long the cause of death could not be determined. Not one family member, including the fathers (the daughters had different fathers), grandmothers, aunts, uncles, etc. had any concern about the well being of these children. They never visited the family, provided any type of support or wondered about their well being.

Now, the father, Norman Penn Jr., of one of the girls, has filed a $25 million suit against the D.C. The Washington Post states that Penn “claims that 16-year-old Brittany Jacks' death has "denied (him) the financial benefits, gifts and other contributions.” What does that mean? I did not realize the purpose of having a child was to reap money and gifts. Penn, in his suit, accuses D.C. of negligence. What about Penn’s negligence as a parent? This just makes no sense. I am dumbfounded.

As for who is Norman Penn and what type of person he is, he signed a consent order in Charles County, Md., in 2002, admitting he was Brittany Jacks' father and agreeing to pay nearly $400 per month in child support. Court records indicate that Penn, who now lives in North Carolina, failed to pay child support, was convicted of criminal contempt and received a suspended jail sentence. So, in addition to being a criminal, he showed no interest in or support for his child.

How disgusting of a person can Penn be to file a suit like this? Does his attorney, Kim Brooks-Rodney, have any integrity? Or is the ulterior motive of both of them one thing: money – blood money. If this case proceeds to the courts and Penn is awarded the money, this will serve as an example that the system rewards negligent parents and that parents do not have to take any responsibility for raising a child. Instead of providing love and support for your children, just wait for something to happen to them because you were negligent, then blame the system and get all the money you can. It’s the new way of parenting in America!

May 24 or Bust

Note: I just came across an article in the LA Times by a reported who tore her ACL skiing. It looks like I'm in for a long, tedious, painful ordeal. Read her story. I can identify with a lot of now and that's before surgery.

Well, just found out that my surgery will not be until Saturday, May 24 – Memorial Day weekend. So while most folks will be soaking up the sun on the beach or grilling burgers, I’ll be elevating and icing my leg in bed – not to mention eating those pain killers like candy. So, in addition to burdening my friends to help me out, I now have to see if anyone wants to give up their start of the summer holiday weekend plans to help me out. What great timing!


I’ve been communicating with another women around my age who tore her ACL skiing in Colorado in February and is also quite active (I tore my ACL skiing in Colorado in January) via an online message board. We are now emailing each other with our trials and tribulations: misery loves company. Her surgery is scheduled for April 29 so I’ll get to hear her first-hand account before I have my surgery. While I am opting for an allograft (the tissue will be taken and transplanted from a cadaver - if my health insurance will foot the bill and if a match can be found), she needs to have an autograft (tissue will be transplanted from either her hamstring or patellar tendon) as being from Canada she says allografts are not easy to come by. Now, I see where there is also a thing called a xenograft, where the tissue is taken from another species. Hmm, I wonder if I can have xenograft from a cheetah so I can run faster. I can become the bionic mammal.

One thing that has been bugging me in all of this is full leg extension (having a straight leg) and knee stiffness. It is suggested to have full extension before surgery. On average it should take about one month post-injury to get full extension. I am going into my 12th week post-injury and still don’t have full extension. If I don’t have it now, will I have it after surgery? The whole reason I’ve decided to have this surgery is to get full extension so my one leg doesn’t feel shorter than the other and I can get back to walking normally. If I don’t get full extension after surgery, that will be a whole lot of pain and effort for naught.

Surgery is On

Well, I just got back from the surgeon and now he feels I need surgery. Although I have been doing those tedious quad-building exercises twice a day/every day for 2 months, the knee is not doing what is should be doing -- fully extending. There was a slim hope that I would not need surgery but it seems if I want to do what I want to do (run, bike, long walks, etc and maybe even ski), surgery probably is my best bet. Could I do without the surgery – perhaps. But, I’m going with the doc’s opinion especially since from the beginning he said let’s try and not do surgery. After today’s examine, I think he saw that surgery would indeed help me – and I’m going to believe him. At this point, I just want this done and over with.

I am waiting to schedule surgery for May. I’d prefer the end of November so that I could sit and do nothing during the winter months but the surgeon is suggestion May. At this point, I’m ready to do it tomorrow. I am getting an allograft (from a cadaver – maybe it will be from somebody famous) versus an autograph (from my body – which is falling apart). I started researching the options on the Internet and just had to stop as it all became very overwhelming. However, after digesting what I did read, I opted for the allograft, which is also what my surgeon suggested. There are advantages, disadvantages, controversy with both. For younger people & athletes, it’s usually a sure thing to go with the autograft but for me there isn’t a clear cut decision just as there isn’t a clear but decision with the surgery in general. It appears there is a shorter post-surgery recovery time (I’ll be on my feet more quickly) with the allograft, in part, because you will only have one wound, not two, to nurse but a longer long-term recovery. Wishful thinking on my part may also be less pain, which I heard is quite intense, for the allograft. The allograft may not be as effective, may not work and there is a greater risk of infection but I guess I need to just hope lady luck will be on my side.

In the ideal post-surgery world with an allograph, I will only need to be on crutches 3-4 days and will only need someone to help me out the first few days. I could only hope for this scenario to play out. Please let it be true! I assume I'll be in bed for several days elevating and icing my leg constantly. The pain will be fairly bad – bring on those pain killers. I will also be in a knee brace (goes from the calf to the thigh) to be worn all day and night and perhaps have an ice cooler machine (circulates cool water to the knee) and a continuous passive motion machine (which automatically moves your leg which is very crucial). I doubt I will use the stairs for several days so my bedroom will become quite familiar to me. And, I will need to continue doing my quad exercises starting almost right after surgery. Here’s one of many post-surgery to do’s and what’s in store for me.

I will try to prepare as much a possible such as doing my grocery shopping/laundry and taking a shower (bathing won’t be a possibility for several days) the day before surgery. If I set up things ahead of time (ice chest in my bedroom for water, snacks, ice bag, etc.), I will only need help getting to/from the bathroom, bringing in the paper/mail, feeding the cats, etc. - a cup of coffee in the am would be nice too. Then I will be needing rides to the physical therapist, doctor, etc. I will be asking my friends for a lot during this recovery period and hoping there is a Florence Nightingale and good Samaritans willing to help me.

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Sunday was Opening Night at the brand new Nationals Park in Washington, DC. What more could fans have hoped for: A dramatic victory in the bottom of the ninth by the home team in their home opener in their new stadium provided a storybook ending to a memorable night.


There has been much fanfare and controversy over the new stadium leading up to and after its grand opening. Criticism followed the stadium, a $611 million, taxpayer-built arena in a formerly blighted part of the District, from conception through construction. It is a state of the art nearly 42,000-seat size stadium affording views of the Capitol dome and the Washington Monument with good sightlines throughout. It’s an example of a successful private-public economic development partnership. And, it’s a project where everyone had an opinion – good and bad.

So, I was a bit puzzled by the representation of the three letters to the editor in The Washington Post on Tuesday. One chastised those who booed President Bush before the start of the game. It was from a Navy veteran and the uncle of an Army Ranger on his third tour in Iraq. He said “Booing the president was like booing me and my nephew.” What does that have to do with the price of eggs? As they say, there is a time and place for everything. And at a baseball game, it should be “root, root, root for the home team”.

The second letter was from someone who questioned why the food concession vendors did not offer healthy, low-fat meal or snack options. Granted, I too usually try to avoid high fat, salty, bad-for-you food but what happened to “Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack, I don't care if I never get back.”

The third letter asked why the game could not have been broadcast on a local channel in addition to ESPN so that more people could have “shared in the joy and excitement at a stadium that public money helped to build.” I actually did question this myself but for those of us without cable TV, it is and will be “one, two, three strikes, you're out, at the old ball game" having to wait impatiently at home for the local news to report what happened.

It is interesting that opening day of baseball in a brand new stadium could elicit these type of opines – none having anything to do with the joy and excitement of being among the fortunate first to attend the game – one in which I and others were unable to get tickets. I don’t know if no one actually wrote a letter regarding their experience at the new stadium or whether the Post simply did not publish any of these. But, it would have been nice if someone who attended this historic game had something nice to say about Nationals Park, the home team and/or the game itself.

What Will the Democrats Do – and When?

I read an article March 23 in the Washington Post about the upcoming primary in Pennsylvania, where I was born and raised. I feel one man interviewed pretty much summed up things in that state by suggesting that “Some of these people still believe the woman should be home taking care of the baby, and they are not going to vote for a black.” So, who are these democrats going to vote for in November?

Will they vote for McCain, the Republican, instead of the Democratic nominee because they can’t bear to vote for a black or a woman? Will their prejudices overshadow their core values and beliefs in health care, the economy, the environment and the Iraq war – in other words, the issues? Will they decide voting for someone because of their race or gender is more important than a candidate’s platform?

If registered Democrats don’t elect McCain, the Democratic Party, Obama, Clinton and their campaigns may. McCain is off and running his campaign gathering momentum, strength and support each day while Clinton and Obama continue to squabble and attack each other. McCain doesn’t have to conduct a negative campaign; the democratic candidates are doing that for him. He can just sit back and reap the benefits.

What was up with Florida and Michigan breaking the primary rules? What did they think they were accomplishing by having their primaries so early and now they have to pay the consequences – their delegations won’t be seated at the Democratic Convention. Will the residents of these 2 states become disenfranchised voters?

And what about those superdelegates? Who are they going to support, when, and more, important, who should they support? Will they wait until the Democratic Convention to decide or will they commit earlier. Democratic strategist Bill Carrick believes that "Either the superdelegates end it in June or Democrats will self-destruct in August in Denver."

When the Democrats finally have a candidate for the upcoming presidential election, will it be too late to assemble campaign teams and garner the support and resources necessary to win the election? Will Democrats be so bitter and demoralized after their National Convention, that they won’t support the Democratic nominee?

The question du jour seems to be which Democratic candidate has the better chance of defeating McCain and by the sentiment illustrated above and the topsy, turvy status of the Democratic Party, it may be neither.

Why do Animals Need to Suffer?

I am an advocate of animal rights and it pains me to read again and again about animals being abused, tortured or killed especially when it’s done to entertain people. It even pains me more knowing that some of this suffering could be prevented and that the abuser/killer receives no punishment and is free to abuse, torture, kill repeatedly at his/her leisure.

The world of dogfighting was brought to light when authorities raided Michael Vick’s property and found 66 dogs, a dog-fighting pit, bloodstained carpets and equipment. Vick was, thankfully, convicted of running a dogfighting operation so grisly the losers either died in the pit or sometimes were electrocuted, drowned, hanged or shot. Unfortunately, the sad truth, as stated by John Goodwin, the deputy manager of the Animal Cruelty Campaign for The Humane Society is that "dogfighting is on the upswing….and I believe that certain elements of the pop culture have glamorized dogfighting and glamorized big, tough pit bulls." Michael Vick got what was coming to him but so many other people participating in dogfighting continue this inhumane behavior because they feel they will never get caught or punished.

This is where the government, local, state and federal, only aids & abets in the suffering of animals. There are either no laws protecting animals or what laws that do exist are arcane or only give abusers a slap on the wrist.


Why do puppy mills still exist where dogs live their entire lives in cages and are continually bred for years. These dogs receive little or no veterinary care and never see a bed, a treat or a toy. After their fertility wanes, breeding animals are commonly killed, abandoned or sold to another mill. Nice life! What possibly could be the reason to makes mills illegal? Money and greed. People are making money, and are successfully influencing legislators, at the expense of the welfare of animals. Who cares about an animal's life when there is a buck to be made. We do not need puppy mills as each year in the U.S. millions and millions of unwanted, abandoned dogs, and cats, are killed daily in shelters. If you do get a pet, please get it at your local shelter or rescue group, not at a pet store or puppy mill. Read more on Puppy Mills.

As far as arcane laws go, governments again fail us. In a recent case in Pennsylvania, a panel of Superior Court judges ruled that it is legal in for a person to kill a healthy, fit dog by shooting it. What? This case began when Randy Miller, pummeled his girlfriend's pit bull-chow mix five or six times with a shovel before shooting it to death. He also told a kid, who witnessed this ghastly scene that he would kill him if he told anyone. Can you imagine? The state said the local county judge erred when he told jurors in his instructions that shooting it is illegal. So now Mr. Miller is free to torture and kill his other pets (Miller lives with Wendy Kneller and told Miller to kill the dog. Her estranged husband, John, said "Kneller took the dog when they separated and kept it in the house where she and Miller, both unemployed, lived with her five children, ages 4 to 14, and 16 dogs, including a pit bull with 11 puppies.") and there is no law to prevent this. This is one law, along with so many others, that needs to be changed.

Animal abuse takes place every day, every where. Read about these at Pet-Abuse.com. If we do not lend our support to protect animals, government will continue to do nothing and allow people to abuse and kill animals and the undue suffering and abuse of animals will continue. Visit the Humane Society of the United States’ website to take part in their campaigns to end abuse.

I Can See My Knee

It's been almost 8 weeks since I tore my ACL and I can finally see the outline of my knee. To date, that area has been swollen although I have been icing my knee twice daily. It basically looked like one, big rounded area that someone inflated. It's so nice to see, and feel, the knobby areas making their spring debut in perfect timing with the tulips popping up in my yard.

I still have problems going up and down (mostly down) steps and other things that involve bending the knee. As spring, and the warm weather, approaches, I wonder if I will be able to get in a few miles running before the heat of the summer arrives. And, when the time comes when I am able to run, will my knee hold up or will I need surgery.

From what I’ve been reading, the majority of folks with torn ACL’s get knee surgery. Also, from what I’ve been reading – I don’t want knee surgery. But since I want to run, do yoga, walk normally, climb and hike, etc., the only solution to a knee giving out doing these activities is surgery.

Since my injury, I’ve noticed other people limping, on crutches, in wheelchairs, etc. Pre-injury I would have passed by these people and not even thought about what happened. Also, as if a societal voice was saying, “you don’t have it that bad”, I came across a man with no legs in a wheelchair trying to get on a bus. The wheelchair ramp on the first bus that came did not work. The bus driver said that he was sorry and then man basically said that’s okay. That’s okay! It was bone chilling cold out and this man had enough barriers to face let alone a malfunctioning apparatus. I then watched as he skillfully maneuvered his way onto another bus. I felt a great deal of respect for this man and was in awe at his fortitude. I thought what would I do if I were in his position. What would my life be like? Would I be able to do it? What about you?

Sue: It's the American Way

In a Washington Post February 28 article, I read in dismay that, "Relatives of the four girls whose decomposed bodies were found last month in a Southeast Washington rowhouse have hired lawyers to pursue claims against the D.C. government for failing to prevent months of neglect and abuse." This action is adding insult to injury to these children's death and making worse a horrific situation where 4 innocent children were murdered by their accused mother.

The family, including Mamie Jacks, the accused's mother, Jessie Fogle, grandmother of two of the children, and one of the children's father (name not disclosed), who were no where in sight for months and years, while these children suffered day after day only to be murdered, now want money from the District of Columbia. Did Jacks, the father, or Fogle not wonder where their children/grandchildren were on holidays; did they not wonder how the children were doing in school; did they not visit them or the mother; what about a simple phone call. No, they did nothing, and, now they want money - blood money. How so disturbing and disgusting this is. What about their negligence and turning their backs on their very own family? I will hold my tongue on how I feel about these people.

As for our legal system, I don't understand how the courts can even consider this. While the government should be expected to protect children and ensure their well being, they can not possibly be responsible for the day to day care of every child within their jurisdiction; that is the parents' responsibility. Unfortunately, many children have parents who neglect this responsibility and the extended family needs to overtake this task. Some very, very unfortunate children, like these four murdered children, had nothing. And, now the people who did nothing, want something. What does this say about society and our judicial system.

P.S. Two additional law suits in DC, while not as disturbing and heart-wrenching as this one, are equally appalling as to how far the courts allows these actions to proceed:
Roy Pearson, a Washington, D.C., Lawyer Sues Dry Cleaners $67 million for Lost Trousers and Raelyn Campbell sues Best Buy for $54 million for a lost computer

Maybe a should sue Nestor's, the place I bought my ski boots and had my bindings adjusted, because my bindings did not release and accordingly, when I fell, I tore my ACL? What do you think?

The Waiting Game

I had my follow up visit to the surgeon today. It has been over 5 weeks since I tore my ACL and I was having the visit to see if surgery was destined for me. Well, I still won't know for several more weeks, even months. I go back again to my surgeon in 5 weeks. I still don't have full extension and will continue to do physical therapy twice a day to get full extension and strengthen the quad -- it's amazing how this muscle vanishes so quickly after an injury. I'm still limping a bit and my knee is still swollen.

After full extension, more PT (a few more months) until the knee is nice and strong. Then I can start to do normal activities like running, biking, etc. If the knee gives out, that means one thing - surgery. I could be one of the fortunate few where the knee does not give out and can do most physical activities except "level 1" activities such as basketball, soccer, anything that involves pivoting and stopping and going. I can live without these. Skiing even could be an option but I doubt mentally if I can get back on the slopes. The risk isn't worth it to me. I'm hoping cross country skiing is okay as I love being out in the snow and mountains. If the knee gives out and I don't have surgery, I could make things worse, i.e. tear the MCL and then I'd be in real trouble.

As far as surgery goes, I really, really do not want to have it. Besides the pain and 4-6 months of rehab, there's the inconvenience of not being able to do anything for myself post-surgery. I can be on crutches anywhere from 5 days to 2 weeks or longer. Bending the knee (I still an not able to kneel) will be difficult making ordinary tasks (bathroom visits, feeding the cats) not easy. I won't be able to drive for a month forcing me to depend on people to take me to PT, the doctor, grocery store, etc. The house will be a mess as cleaning will be neglected. And so on.

Then there's the first hand accounts of some folks who have already had the surgery and have shared their experiences with me. Such as:

• "Dr. __ said that if I didn't get surgery I would get arthritis a lot earlier in life and I would have trouble going back to being athletic. The recovery and pain since surgery is probably the most difficult thing I had to do in my life, I'm not going to lie. I was on percocet for a week and then vicodin for about 5 weeks after. It's really a personal choice, I guess. If you think you can do like 5 months of rehab after surgery then go for it."
• "As far as post op recovery, I'm not going to lie--surgery is tough and the first couple of days after are very hard. I pretty much used crutches to get around. By about a week I was down to one crutch around the house and I'd take two with me when I went out or going up and down stairs. It took about 4 weeks till I was comfortable without the crutch at all. I would also have to make sure I iced and elevated extensively after I did any walking or working out--and this will continue for months. At first if I walked for 2 minutes I'd have to ice for 20, then after a week or so I could walk for 4 minutes and ice
  for 15 and so on."

So, that's it in a nutshell. More as time progresses.

To Have Surgery or Not -- This is the Question!

I go back to the surgeon on February 26 to find out how my knee is doing and what is next. I started not wearing the brace inside to see how strong the knee is. Each step, I fear that the knee will give out. As long as the knee continues to hold its own, there are basically two options: continue physical therapy a few more months to strengthen the knee/supporting muscles (i.e. quad, hamstrings) or have ACL surgery and continue a more tedious physical therapy regime for 4-6 months.

I've been reading and reading about this and there is no clear cut answer - yet - for someone in my position (only tore the ACL, not an athlete, not a spring chicken, willing to give up "level I" activities -- basketball, soccer, skiing, etc. - sports that involve pivoting). As far as the yet part goes, I can wait and see if my knee gives out. I still want to run, bike, do yoga, go to the gym, etc. to stay fit so I'll need to gradually add those activities back into my schedule. If the knee does give out, then surgery raises its ugly head again.

Waiting, though, means doing months of PT now only to do 4-6 months more after surgery. If I take the chance and wait for surgery, I delay getting back to my normal activity level and this whole process is just drug out. If I elect surgery now, I should be back to normal activities in about 1/2 year. But, surgery involves risks (80-90% success rate, infection, problems after surgery, etc.), pain, inconvenience (crutches, depending on people to do just about everything for me, taking off from work, giving up social activities for awhile, etc., etc.).

Let's see what my surgeon says next Tuesday.