Just got back from another PT session and am even more frustrated than usual. From the PT’s standpoint, it appears the reason for my inability to walk properly is my lack of coordination skills (I’ll never be on “So You Think You Can Dance”) and inability to relax my muscles – my brain wants to control all of my movements instead of letting gravity take its course (if I had my PT sessions at the beach I think then and only then I could relax).
Yes, there also could be something physically wrong (i.e. scar tissue build up or God only knows what) which would probably need to be corrected again surgically – a fear that I had even before the ACL surgery. But there is definitely a problem on my end and I now wonder if surgery was ever needed in the first place as the problem wasn’t in need of surgical correction but of mental and physical training.
I just don’t think, at this point, surgery accomplished anything. I am worse off now than after my injury. I can’t bend my knee, I can’t extend my knee, I can’t walk correctly and my knee is still swollen. Tomorrow will be 9 weeks post surgery. To me, I am now going through the worst time of this whole ordeal including the injury itself (January 20), PT/rehab after the injury (4 months), and surgery (May 24). I’m at my breaking point and don’t want to do the rehab anymore. I’m sick and tired of it – all 6 months of it. Where is the progress?
I hope this is just one those bad days and that I can get back on track and move forward. Once again I’ll anxiously wait for my next follow up with Dr. K. (August 15) and see what he says. I really, really need to hear from him all is fine and these things take time and it’s just taking a bit of more time for me. Just hang in there.
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